Privacy

I have been thinking today. I don't know why - it might be because of the looming double deadline on Thursday and the complementary anxiety that comes with it, because of a phone call with my mom in which we talked about putting stuff online, or because I realised (while casually stalking him) that a friend of mine whom I haven't seen for a long time has removed his facebook account; or because I saw another friend who just always makes me think a lot and about all sorts of things. It might be all of those things at once and many others too.

I do realise that I am mostly doing this because I am procrastinating writing my Portfolio essay... which I was planning to write in order to procrastinate writing the program notes for my recital on Thursday. Don't get me wrong - I am very excited about writing these program notes, and about the recital in general, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel like hiding under a blanket and pretending to be a little penguin, awaiting less stressful times. Anyway, this is connected to the Portfolio assignment; therefore, to continue the ornitological metaphor, I am not chickening down but am actually killing two birds with one (flint)stone.

Just to say, I am against animal violence (as well as pretty much any other kind of violence).

So, I have been thinking about privacy, and sharing things online but also about what we tell to people. The general idea is, if something is worth sharing, it gets shared. But is that really really so?  Let's take for example, those 'eureka' moments.While it is true that sometimes when I am practicing a piece and I receive this brilliant idea about what a passage means/how to play it the small part of myself that is the extrovert/Sagittarius/show-off feels a gush of desire to share it with the whole world; my hand impulsively reaches for my phone to go on facebook. (One thing that could be said about facebook is: 'never before so much stuff that is not important has been shown to so many people who don't care about it' - I believe there is an almost identical demotivator about blogging somewhere.) And then a voice in my head says, 'Stop, what do you think you are doing? Wait until you see where this leads and if it really makes sence.'
Or for example, when I am having such a good time that I don't feel like writing about how I am having a good time even when there is a lot to say about how good the time is and why is it good exactly.
Or secrets. There are of course secrets and secrets; I am talking about the ones that are beyond gossip and take a part in one's heart/mind/being.

Using those examples and some others, I was able to derive the following formula: if it is important, I keep it private. If I am not keeping it private, it means it is not that important.
I also realised that with some important things I don't even dare to separate them as thoughts from the entangled mess of a feeling, because sharing them even with myself would make them shrivel and die.

I believe I am not (too) different from other human beings, at least from the ones I like and am able to interact with, and I suspect it is probably how it works for most.
I am afraid I lost my train of thought here, at least a few of the coaches got redirected. My point was the internet is full of semi-important things that both the reader and the writer only half-cares about. Crazy, isn't it.

Now let's do some work... after I have dinner, because dinner is good, and when hungry, I pose immediate danger for myself and the others around me.